Loves Me Not
by PadfootObsessed329
Summary: Astoria reflects on her marriage to Draco Malfoy and concludes that her husband didn't love her. He never did. His heart already belonged to another woman. Mentions of one sided Dramione. Oneshot.


To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another. – Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibnitz

**Disclaimer:** As much as I would love to, I don't own Harry Potter.

**Summary:** Astoria reflects on her marriage to Draco Malfoy and concludes that her husband didn't love her. He never did. His heart already belonged to another woman. Mentions of one sided Dramione.

**Title: Loves Me Not**

The day Draco Malfoy began courting her, Astoria Greengrass couldn't believe her luck. She was dating the only heir of the Malfoy line. If she played her cards right, it wouldn't be long until he proposed and she became Mrs. Draco Malfoy. She'd been infatuated since she was eleven years old and although she didn't love him yet, she knew it time she would grow to love him; just as he would one day learn to love her. It was, after all, the pureblood tradition to first marry for status and fall in love later.

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><p>They'd only been engaged two months, when the first instance occurred. It was a morning just like any other. Astoria and Draco were eating breakfast when as usual the Owl Post arrived delivering Draco's morning edition of the Daily Prophet. Due to the silent nature of their morning meal, it took Astoria several minutes to realize there was something wrong with her fiancé. Draco had gone even paler than normal, and he was gripping the paper tightly as his eyes bore down on whatever new was on the front page.<p>

"Draco? What is it? What's in the paper? Is something wrong?"

Her voice seemed to break him out of his spell as he shook his head and gave her one of his charming smiles.

"Of course not, Darling. Whatever could be wrong?" With another smile, Draco folded the paper, placed it on the desk and turned to exit the room, calling to his fiancé over his shoulder. "I might be late tonight so don't wait up. Remember you have a meeting with my mother tomorrow morning to discuss the details of the wedding. Be sure to be on time. My mother doesn't take well to tardiness."

Astoria nodded her head, watching her husband leave to room before reaching across the table to grab the morning paper. Unfolding it slowly, Astoria found only one article on the front page. The headline read "_War Heroes to be to Married_" with a large picture of Hermione Granger in the arms of Ronald Weasley. Surely this wasn't what had upset her fiancé? Why would Draco care if the two Gryffindors were engaged? It wasn't as if Draco even liked Granger or Weasley. Placing the paper back on the table, Astoria shook her head and let out a little laugh. Draco must have had something just remembered something he needed to do. His odd behavior couldn't have had anything to do with the morning headline.

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><p>It was the day of her wedding and Astoria couldn't be happier. She was twenty three years old and about the wed the wealthiest bachelor in all of England. Once more, during the twelve months of their engagement, she had fallen in love with her fiancé. It wasn't a requirement in a traditional pureblood marriage, but it was an added bonus. She would be a great wife to Draco. She'd provide him the male heir needed to carry on the family name and her loyalty and support in every task he took upon himself.<p>

What more could he want in a wife? She was a pureblood from a wealthy family, smart, but not overly so, and considered pretty my most. If her fiancé didn't lover her yet, it wouldn't be long before he returned her feelings.

Astoria watched as her bridesmaids walked down the aisle, finally leaving just her father and herself. As she started her descend, she first focused on the large amount of people who had come to witness the merging of the Greengrass and Malfoy line, before her eyes made their way to the alter where Draco waited. Looking at her soon to be husband, Astoria almost froze. She saw friendship, kindness, and respect in his eyes, but not love. As much as she told herself it didn't bother her, it really did. Her groom didn't love her. It was enough to disappoint any bride on her wedding day. Still she carried on because Draco would come to love her. And if she though she saw Draco's gaze drift during his vows to a certain bushy haired guest, she was sure it was just her imagination.

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><p>When she was twenty five, Astoria gave birth to her first and likely only child, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. He was a beautiful little boy that was almost identical to Draco. She fell in love with him almost instantly, and unlike his father, Astoria knew Scorpius loved her in return.<p>

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><p>Watching Draco with Scorpius was a favorite pastime of hers. He was a kind and gentle father who enjoyed doing anything for his son. He was so unlike his own father and many other pureblood families that it made Astoria smile. Of all the things Draco did for his son, watching her husband put Scorpius to bed was her favorite. The routine was always the same. He'd read their son a story, tuck in his blankets and place a kiss on Scorpius' head. Before he'd exit the room, he'd always say "Goodnight, Scor. I love you". Three simple words she longed to hear, but had never once been directed towards her in their years of marriage.<p>

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><p>At the age of four, Scorpius accompanied his parents on their monthly trip to Diagon Alley to replenish their everyday supplies that had dwindled over a month's time. Although Scorpius found shopping boring and didn't particularly like the crowded shops, he was always on his best behavior to ensure the treat of ice-cream his parents always promised as an award. On this such occasion, Astoria sent her husband and son ahead, telling them to go get their ice-cream and she would join them as soon as she finished. She'd expected to find them as always sitting at a table outside, ice-cream all over her young son's face. Instead, she found her husband talking with Hermione Weasley, a pretty red-haired child peeking out from behind her legs, while Scorpius sat at a nearby table slowly eating his favorite treat.<p>

From her place across the street, Astoria watched as her husband bent down to whisper something into the little girl's ear. As she began to laugh and emerge from behind her mother's legs, Draco looked up and shared a smile with the little girl's mother. Astoria continued to watch as Scorpius offered the little girl some of his ice-cream and the adults joined their children at the table. As Draco continued to converse with Hermione Weasley, Astoria couldn't help thinking that the four of them looked like a perfect little family out for a spot of ice-cream.

Turning away, Astoria couldn't help the stab of pain that went through her chest. Draco had never once smiled or laughed like that with her. Most importantly, never once in all their years together had Draco ever looked at her with the love and adoration he had directed at the muggleborn witch in just a single glance.

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><p>The morning of September 1st, 2017, Scorpius excitedly ran around the house, impatiently waiting for his parents to be ready to depart to Kings Cross Station. Today was the day he would finally go to Hogwarts. Astoria laughed lightly and shook her head at her son's excitement. They had over an hour before they needed to be at the station, but Scorpius was too excited to wait any longer. As soon as Draco finished packing up the rest of Scorpius' supplies, they would be off to board their only son onto the Hogwarts express for his first year at Hogwarts!<p>

When they finally arrived at Platform 9 and ¾, Scorpius' excitement only seemed to intensify, while Astoria began to feel sadness well up within her. She was sending her son off to Hogwarts today. Without him, the house was bound to become lonely. Sometimes, she believed that Scorpius was the only thing holding her marriage together. With him gone, would she and Draco be able to survive?

Shaking her head of such thoughts, Astoria glanced around the platform noticing several of her and Draco's former classmates. We watched as Draco nodded his head in greeting to Potter and Weasley before his eyes met those of Hermione Weasley. As she turned to help board her son onto the Hogwarts Express, Astoria tried to pretend she didn't notice the way Draco's eyes lingered on Hermione's for longer than a casual glance or the way his smile was full of warmth and love. She could barely handle sending her son away for an extended period of time. She didn't have the strength today to deal with her husband's love of another woman.

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><p>When Scorpius was seventeen and about to enter his final year at Hogwarts, he asked to talk his father about a girl he wanted to court. It didn't take Draco long to figure out the girl was Rose Weasley, Scorpius' best friend since he was eleven and the daughter of the only woman he had ever loved. It also didn't take Draco long to realize that the reason Scorpius wanted to talk to him wasn't really about said girl, but more about her blood status. He was worried that Draco, like his own father, wouldn't approve of his son dating someone that wasn't a pureblood. It was at this moment that Draco knew he needed to confess his secret to his son and ensure his son didn't repeat his mistakes.<p>

"Don't be like me, Scor. Follow your heart and marry the girl you love. Forget about pureblood traditions and family obligations. I could never get over my obligation to my father and this family so I married your mother; a wonderful woman and a great friend, but she wasn't the woman I loved. The one I loved would never have been accepted by your grandfather and so I never told her my feelings and married your mother instead. I love you Scor, and I care deeply for your mother, but I always wonder what my life would have been like if I had married for love. Not telling her my feelings is the biggest regret in my life. Don't make the same mistake I did, son. Tell Rose you love her. Find your happiness in the girl you love and never let her go."

Standing outside the door, Astoria slapped a hand across her mouth to stifle a sob, and raced down the hallway as far away from her husband and son as she could get. She hadn't meant to overhear that conversation and she wished she could erase it from her memory. She had tried for years to make herself believe that Draco truly did love her. Maybe he didn't love her as much as she loved him, but she told herself that he did love her in his own way. Now, after overhearing their conversation and knowing for sure that he loved another woman, Astoria didn't know if she could lie to herself any longer. What do you do when you know your husband doesn't love you? How do you handle to knowledge that his biggest regret is not telling another woman he loved her, when he never once told his wife the same sentiment?

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><p>She always knew this day would come. Today, her son, only two years out of Hogwarts, was getting married. A part of her felt like she was losing part of herself. Today her son would start his own family. He'd move into a house with his new bride and they would fill that house with their own little children. He'd come around to visit every once in a while, but it wouldn't be the same. With him gone, there wouldn't be anyone around to remind her that she was loved.<p>

The fact that Scorpius was marrying the only daughter of Hermione Weasley put a sad smile on her face. Like father, like son. She wondered how Draco felt about this marriage. She knew he supported Scorpius' choice and had encouraged their son to marry for love, but did it bother him to know his son was marrying the daughter of the woman he loved? The woman he had truly wanted to spend his life with? They were questions Astoria wondered, but would never ask her husband. Speaking them out loud would finally mean acknowledging her husband's true feelings and that wasn't something Astoria was ready to do. Not today, maybe not ever.

For her part, Astoria was happy her son was marrying Rose Weasley. They had been friends for years and she always knew her son had a crush on his best friend. More importantly, her son was marrying a girl that returned his affections. Her son wasn't repeating the mistakes of his parents. He would have a long, happy life with his lovely bride.

Checking in on her son one last time, Astoria placed a kiss on his forehead before making her way to the front row to sit next to her husband. As she drew nearer, she heard him laugh at something Rose's mother said and she realized she had never seen Draco happier. Sitting next to the woman he loved, Draco was actually smiling and laughing. Truly smiling, not a smirk or a charming smile he often used to get something he wanted. A real smile. It was then that she knew for certain. Draco didn't love her. He never had, never would. They shared a child together and he felt some form of affection towards her, of that she knew, but it wasn't love. She had lied to herself over the years, making her believe that her husband may love this woman, but a part of him also loved her. It was a lie she could no longer believe. Her husband did not lover her. Draco couldn't love her, not when his heart belonged to the muggleborn witch sitting next to him. It was a hard truth to acknowledge, but it was a truth she would bare. She loved her husband and if he could find happiness loving a married woman, she too could find happiness loving a husband that would never love her.

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><p>At sixty five years old, Astoria had lived a long and full life. Although her marriage with Draco had become strained over the years after Scorpius was married, they'd stayed together although they acted more like friends than husband and wife. Eventually she'd worked up the courage to tell Draco that she knew he never loved her and she didn't blame him. She knew what it felt like to love someone that would never love you in return. He confessed that he had tried to love her, but his heart never allowed him to forget about the first woman he'd fallen in love with. She'd told him she understood. They never mentioned that conversation again, but their relationship improved greatly after their confessions.<p>

Astoria knew it wasn't long now before she exited this world and started her journey into the next. She'd been sick for a long time now and the healers hadn't been able to cure her. Her health had steadily declined and both she and Draco knew she would be lucky to last through the night. He'd call her son and he'd come with Rose and their three children to say their final goodbye. Scorpius stayed long after his wife and her grandchildren had left, only leaving when she final told him she loved him, but she didn't want him here when she finally went. It would be too hard for her.

Draco, on the other hand, refused to leave her side, not matter how much she begged.

"I won't leave you, Astoria. No one deserves to die alone. I took a vow that I would be here until death do us part. I intend to keep that vow." He said as he took her hand and placed a kiss on her palm. "I wasn't the best husband, I know. I wish I had been better, tried harder. You deserved more."

"You were a good husband and a great father. I couldn't have been happier. I love you, Draco." She whispered, as she started to fade away. She faintly heard him whisper "I love you, too." Those three words were all she ever wanted to hear during her marriage. He might not have meant it, but it was still nice to hear. Draco's final gift allowed her to finally die a happy woman.

**A/n: Well it's not exactly what I planned when I started this, but I think I like it. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought.**

**Thanks,**

**PadfootObsessed329**


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